Come closer to nowhere
Learn until you reach no mind
Accomplish until nothing is done
Speak until silence arise
Forget until you may share
Photo credit: julia gundlach
As a world traveler for the last 5 years, I’ve witnessed the sacredness of this quote: ‘Wherever you go, there you are’.
I promise I did try to run away, as far and as in depth as I could but hey, there was I! From one environment to another, problems arise. These struggles or worries, they simply exist to fill an empty space within. They are like clouds passing by through our inner sky. The real struggle is not the clouds itself because they shall pass. They always do. The real struggle is when I find myself to believe that the greyness I see is my sky and not simply a beautiful blue sky allowing a space for these grey clouds to pass by. It is when you cling to this greyness as an infinite reality.
I ran so far that I’ve finished in the depth of the tribes of Africa where even as removed as possible from society, my fears and self doubts would always tag along. Whatever you are facing at home, it doesn’t simply disappear when you go traveling. You might entertain your mind for a bit as your life is out of habit but once you’ve adjusted to this new lifestyle, whatever was on your path to work on, it always comes back.
After running around in the outside world for about 3 years, I’ve started running around inside this time. Spending a year working with a variety of medicinal plants and meditation practices. In depth did I dive. As deep as my ocean allowed me. And when I would make it to the bottom of my ocean, I would start to dig so I may reach even deeper but the truth, no escape existed.
So I stopped. I let myself float in between the ocean and the sky, going nowhere. I went extremely up in the sky to see if there was something beyond this greyness by traveling across the globe, with a never ending adventure and found myself in Brazil where I settled and jumped in the sea deep deep to find if the deep sea water could clear the fog that existed in my life. I found that when I stopped completely and floated between the sea and the sky I could watch my blue sky with clouds passing by and feel the clarity of a still ocean on my back that would keep me peaceful. This moment could only happen when I would completely stop. The moment where I would swim slightly to reach somewhere, this stillness would go, my arms as they move slowly, would start to blurry the water and as my mind would start running again, I would forget that the blue sky existe no matter the weather.
Going to nowhere. Not outside, not inside. Just being. Surrendering completely to just being. And of course dancing always followed. Dancing became my life celebration. Where in the middle of nowhere you can celebrate life and this exact moment that expends your heart. The heart expansion uniting the sky and ocean in one vaste beautiful infinite moment. Experiencing every cloud; celebrating them. Surrendering to the current of the ocean, navigating life with no destinations, only a deep appreciation of wherever you are, contemplating your sky with deep gratitude that you have open eyes to see this sky and be exactly where you are, wherever this may be.
The last year was about creating peace with where I was, no matter where I was. For the first time of my life all plans where accomplish as I arrived in Guatemala. Nothing was waiting for me next. The only thing I had to do was to be there, wherever there was as nothing was no more waiting for me. Nothing. Not a next country, a person I have to meet up, a project I have to realize so I may do another project. I only needed to wake up in the morning and make that day the best day I could as nothing else mattered. No compromised was anymore needed. I did not seek to meet people or find a new life purpose, I simply lived everyday one day at the time. Connections came to me, projects came to me, opportunities came to me and all I needed to do was to embrace
everything that came. It all came at the right time, with the right lesson attached to it. And it went away. The cloud passed by. Some of it integrated my sky as it became part of my new reality.
As all of it unfolds, I've always lived my life as if it was the last month I had to live. And today, as the world stopped, as you can't leave where you are right here and now, I may look around and be incredibly grateful to be exactly where I am. With literally no way out, you are hold on to be with the home you've created for yourself. I may open my eyes in the morning and wake up in one of the most beautiful place in the world, surrounded by a community of inspiring human beings supporting each other, sharing a platform for all types of movements and co-creation. Within the world's chaos, you may find yourself to be exactly where you should be, facing exactly what you should face; being yourself, the world or whatever fears residing inside. You may stop and have a look at what you've created.
Wherever you go, there you are.